Heli-Mama Drama

Had my first run-in with a real live helicopter mom the other day—kind of blew me away. I had met this woman at library story time last year. She’s about my age, has a daughter a few months younger than Coco and lives fairly close, and we had taken a couple of walks with the girls. Anyway, I suppose you could say we didn’t really click: I found her intelligent but somewhat humorless and a little odd. She probably felt the lack of click as well, and we stopped seeking each other out after a couple of meet ups. We’d still run into each other from time to time and were on fairly friendly (but not warm) terms. Before last week, I hadn’t seen her in months.

So, I took both kids over to the community center for an open gym session. It was full of toddlers, some of whom we knew, and we were having a great time. Then this woman showed up with her daughter. I should note that this kid is almost two, but I’ve never heard her say a word or seen her interact with other children. Anyway, I immediately got a weird vibe from the mom and noticed that she was acting strangely, hovering over her kid and shielding her whenever Coco was even remotely close, as if my toddler was some kind of rabid animal. I (probably mistakenly) chose not to say anything.

Then, just as we were getting ready to leave, she came over to me and said:
“I’m uncomfortable being around Coco because the last time we were together, she elbowed X.”

Now, the last time I remember seeing these people was at a children’s concert at the end of last year, and I have absolutely no recollection of any kind of incident taking place. I don’t even recall Coco being anywhere near her kid. And this woman did not mention anything about an “elbowing” at the time.

I told her I thought she was overreacting, overprotecting her child and that she had a few things to learn about how toddlers interact, upon which she started acting all hurt and shocked that I would say something like that to her.

Anyway, I kinda lost it. I was just unbelievably irritated that someone would freak out over something like that, not say anything at the time and bring it up months later. Now, as I have mentioned previously in this space, Coco did go through a phase where she was a bit aggressive, but she seems to be pretty much over it. She’s a lively, curious and most of all very friendly kid. I really think this mother, with her disengaged little treasure, has no clue.

Honestly, I don’t even remember most of what I said to her, but I don’t think I used any profanities (I hope not since the CC is kind of sacred ground for us). She immediately started whining to the other parents, while I told her I’d be happy to keep my kid away from hers and stormed out. I admit I could have handled the whole thing a little bit more calmly. I suppose I can blame it on overcaffeination and the glazed doughnut I had (inexplicably, uncharacteristically) purchased from 7-11 just before. Anyway, it’s a small town, and I hope I’m not gonna get a rep as a psycho over this. But really, who cares if a couple of uptight mommies think I’m nuts. I have finally developed a pretty good network of people around here who accept me and my kids. And I had to speak my mind.

Just another vignette from the sordid world of the SAHM. Stay tuned…