Princess Paranoia

Had a moment of reckoning when grandma brought Coco some Disney princess PJs she had picked up at the thrift shop where she volunteers. As some of my readers may know, I’m a big proponent of recycled children’s clothes. But I’m also allergic to princesses and, on a certain level, allergic to Disney. My kids have yet to see any of those movies (though I’m sure it’s just a matter of time before we succumb to Pixar…). And yet, the Disney juggernaut still manages to creep into our lives. (free toothbrushes from the dentist, stickers from the doctor’s office etc.). Anyway, in the end, I decided to take the jammies. They’re 100% cotton and 100% free. Plus, she’s not going to wear them outside. (I told my mother to give the Dora jacket she had brought home to another little urchin.) I just can’t bear the thought of my girl being someone’s billboard…

I really do find some of the trappings of modern girlhood kind of obscene. The things people do to their girls boggle the mind (you know, dressing them like little hookers and so forth). It’s part of why I find the idea of raising a girl so terrifying. That and mean girls in gradeschool. God help us!

There’s an adorable two-year-old girl Co likes to hang with at the playground. The mother seems nice, well-educated etc, and the kid’s clothes are always totally age appropriate. But… she has earrings. I have to say, I find it just a little shocking. really now, why do people do this? Shouldn’t it be something the child has a say in?

Through a little online research, I discovered that that people have their babies’ ears pierced at pediatricians’ offices. It seems odd to me that MDs would go for this. But I guess the thinking is that having it done in hygienic conditions is better than having parents take their infants to the mall or whatever. I know that it’s a cultural phenomenon in some cases. My sister is a doc at an urban pediatric clinic that serves low income latinos (her office doesn’t do ear piercing btw). She reports that a little girl could be dressed from head to toe in pink and ribbons and those moms would think she’s a boy if she’s not wearing earrings.

There was a post on one mommy message board I came across from a mom who got her daughter’s ears pierced because the kid didn’t have hair and people thought she was a boy. This mom was totally happy with her decision, as it apparently relieved the “stress” of having people incorrectly identify her child’s sex. (I guess having people think you’re a white trash idiot isn’t stressful...) I think I was nine when I got my ears pierced, but even that seems young to me. I’m thinking 16 at the earliest.

Then there’s the nail polish. Even totally respectable, generally conservative friends of mine do this…even to toddlers. I just don’t get it. Plus, how do they get the kids to hold still? I can barely paint my own toenails without getting it all over the place…

Fortunately, Co has a couple of influences which I hope will keep her out of the Little Mermaid ghetto. For one thing, she has me for a role model. I’m pretty understated on that level: I don’t generally wear jewelry or nail polish (though I am pretty attached to my lip gloss). It’s all part of my minimalist philosophy. Of course, I used to get mani/pedis pretty regularly in NYC where a trip to the nail salon was cheap and convenient. But that was a different lifetime. Also, I think having a big brother in the mix helps. It seems like the more girls there are in a family, the crazier the shit becomes. I mean, did Scout Finch play with Barbies? I think not.