Time for a Change

So, I'm taking my saggy boobs and moving this show to a new location. Please check me out at www.exurbancowgirl.com. Oh and did I mention I love comments?

Weekly Highlights #3

Spent a lovely Thanksgiving with Christian’s very gracious relatives in Virginia’s Northern Neck. We love hanging out with them at the holidays because they are just so darn civilized--unlike my family who are a bunch of heathens (if any of you are reading this, I’m joking). As usual, the weekend was full of elegant dishes, good conversation and very little drama. And Christian’s cousin, my kids’ beloved Auntie Amy (who is a cross between Bridget Jones, Beatrix Potter and Nigella Lawson) kept us well fed and watched the kids one afternoon so we could drive around and sample the fruits of some of the local vines. Hank and I contributed pumpkin pies we actually made from a pumpkin (using Martha Stewart’s recipe). I’m more of a pecan girl myself but they turned out pretty good…. So, who wants a bunch of 40-year-old bridesmaids with saggy boobs? Well, apparently my sister does. The bride to be, my baby sister Molly, has the misfortune of being a much younger half sibling to a bunch of middle-aged hags (if any of you are reading this, I’m joking). I was pretty sure my bridesmaid days were over and had asked to be excused from the wedding party line up, but my stepsister (who is, ahem, older than I am) is dying to be in the wedding and Molly thought it would look funny if she only had one family member up there. Oh and she’s also having four flower girls to accommodate all of her drama queen nieces. Not sure I can handle it, but I’ll give it my best shot….

Weekly Highlights #2

The boy brought home pink eye (one of my most hated childhood illnesses because it’s so contagious and so, well, icky) last week which was bringing things down. Fortunately the little girl and her papa were spared, but I was not so lucky and will have to toss a new mascara and new set of contacts. On the upside, we are almost done with those annoying drops and should be totally clear for a thanksgiving weekend away… I bought myself an adorable one-shot Bialetti stovetop espresso maker. (It’s so tiny Co thinks I got it for her play kitchen.) I’m a tea drinker too but like an Americano every now and then. The ever lovin’ has pretty much ditched café in favor of green tea so I’m on my own with the espresso. I was using our 6 shot Bialetti but felt compelled to drink all the coffee it produced, which cannot have been good for my nervous system… My kids have suddenly been plunged full on into Star Wars mania (without having seen any of the movies). How does it happen? An old friend has a theory that there’s a Star Wars gene that automatically manifests in 5-year-old boys which seems like a reasonable explanation to me. We’ve been checking out zillions of SW books from the library and I now know pretty much everything about every single character in the Clone Wars… Christian and I used a kid-free Saturday to clear off the front porch, which was looking just a little too white trash for my taste. And finally, the woman who last year did all of her Christmas shopping at Target on December 22 proudly announces she has completed more than half of it in November without leaving her desk. Progress!

Weekly Highlights #1

I should really just admit to myself that I can’t keep up with this space and throw in the towel. There seems to be so much going on that’s been taking priority. For example, I’ve been trying to get some exercise to keep from losing my mind (not sure that it’s working but never mind). But I can’t give it up: that would mean giving in to brain dead housewifery. So until I can figure out how to get it together, I’ve decided to try something new: weekly highlights. I think I can handle that, and maybe get a few interstitial posts in between. Plus, it’s in line with my recent efforts to focus on the positive (yeah I watched The Secret). So here goes:

If CDs had grooves, we’d be wearing them out on Elizabeth Mitchell’s new record. With apologies to Dan Zanes, she is hands down the best kids singer out there. My kids sing those songs in the car, in the house, morning and night (I have Shoo Lie Loo going through my head right now). It’s so good I might actually buy a copy instead of just checking it out from the library.... Hank brought home his first report card, which I would describe as totally respectable. His only “below standard” was in counting money. Really cannot blame him though as he comes from a long line of Presbyterians…Coco started taking dance class and is the cutest Amazon ballerina in town… I am (as always) trying to rejoice in the small things: Wednesday morning yoga, a steaming Americano and clearance sunglasses from Marshall’s… We finally got season 7 of MI-5 from the library featuring the cute/unfortunately named Richard Armitage as the new anti-hero. It’s going to take me a few episodes to get used to him as the good guy as he was such a twat in the BBC’s Robin Hood…Got the results of my first ever mammogram (normal thank goodness or I’d have to call this weekly lowlights)… And finally, the holiday issue of Wegmans Menu magazine is out. Totally bourgeois right but I love it. I’ve been using several of their recipes for use with great success for years and credit them for opening my eyes to the joys of roasted Brussels sprouts which, belonging to the much beloved (by me anyway) crucifera family, will hopefully mean many years of normal mammograms to come…

School Days and Slacker Ways

I always used to hate it when people would talk about how busy they are. You know, complaining but with a little brag mixed in. As in: my life is so complete, I just don’t have time to hang out with you... Well, fall has arrived and things have been a little nuts around here, what with my firstborn heading off to real school, my foray into soccermomdom, swim class and a few little activities for the little girl. Plus trying to get to the gym (I call it that for the sake of brevity but I think of it more as the anti-gym because it’s so low key) a few days a week. When I think about it, we don’t even really do that much. The real problem is that we so often have to travel from our tiny town to bigger exurban outposts 20-30 minutes away for classes, groceries etc. Not so terribly far to travel, but it adds up when one has to make the trip multiple times a week. It’s all a little overwhelming for an underachiever like myself. I’ve barely had time to think in weeks, much less put anything down on paper. Thoughts for this space fly through my head like so many brown marmorated stinkbugs and then (unlike the stinkbugs) disappear. Truly though I can’t complain. While I’m a little sleep deprived lately, I’m fundamentally a morning person so our new early sched suits me. And there’s been an unprecedentedly high level of harmony in the household: the kids are busy and engaged, and the ever lovin’ and I, it seems, are just too tired to fight. (PS: I will never be too busy to hang out with friends…)

So the boy seems to be off to a good start in his academic career. For the record, I didn’t cry when he got on the bus or at all that first day. It snuck up on me a few days later though, alone at the computer just thinking about stuff. I think we live in the last place in America where kids still go to kindergarten half day. We were zoned for afternoon class, but I switched him into morning session (mostly so he wouldn’t have to eat lunch at 10:30), which I think has been a good decision overall. However, he’s a sleepy Leo so the 6:30 wake up time has been rough on him. But he seems happy to be there, and I can tell there’s a lot of learning going on. The teacher has been up front about the fact that because of a new focus on the three Rs, there’s not a lot of time for play in half day K. (In case you hadn’t heard, kindergarten is the new first grade) The half day thing is probably good in Hank’s case since he’s young in his class and still needs to rest. But the lack of unstructured time is hard on my boy who really just likes to play. He came home the other day and said, “I don’t like kindergarten-- we don’t do anything fun.” But most days he comes home beaming about his accomplishments in class. I’ve heard for years that five is an amazing age, and I’d have to say that so far it has lived up to they hype. But there’s some interesting Jekyll and Hyde stuff going on. He’s often sweet, full of delightful observations and know-it-all pronouncements. Loves Winnie the Pooh (we’ve just started reading it again for the 11th or 12th time) and Alice in Wonderland (which we’ve been listening to on CD in the car). Then he’ll turn around and say something utterly salty that makes me want to box his ears (I got that from Alice. But I guess people don’t really do that to their kids anymore do they…). I’ve had to holler at him countless times for scrapping on the playground. He’s sometimes upset about leaving his sister to go to school but gets super frustrated and annoyed when she tries to horn in on his independent play. Coco, who was blessed (or cursed) with an end-of year birthday, missed the cut off for our local preschool and so has been blessed (or cursed) with one more year of full on mama time. And (for the most part) I love it. She has her difficult moments but overall is in a glorious place as we head towards three and is a pleasure to hang out with. Carla and I have worked out a beautiful childcare swap. On Marvelous Mondays, we get adorable Isabel who loves imaginary play and gets my wild child to settle down and play with dolls. And on Wonderful Wednesdays I’m solo (sola?) for four fabulous hours. So far I’ve been totally unoriginal and used my newfound free time for yoga class and errands… but oh man the possibilities!

I have to say that the lunch/snack thing is stressing me out a little. Hank goes to lunch club at the community center after school twice a week (which is how I get my long morning on Wednesdays). I’ve been working hard to get in stuff that’s high protein, high fiber, low sugar, low sodium and appealing, but it’s not easy. The fruits and vegetables always seem to come home at the end of the day. I even bought a Spiderman soup container and tried to send in some homemade chicken soup. That was a total flop, of course. I think soup just requires too much concentration. And then there’s the milk thing… So they give them milk at snack time, which had me a little freaked out because I’ve gone out of my way to give these kids nothing but organic milk their whole lives. Of course, one can opt out, but he wants to have a carton of milk with his little friends. So I decided not to be a control freak and let him have the milk. The annoying thing is, they still offer chocolate milk which of course he would choose every day if left to his own devices. I can make peace with the hormones but I really want to avoid a sugar trip in the middle of class. So we worked out a compromise by which he has regular milk or water (usually water from what I understand) four days a week and chocolate milk on Fridays. Ideal solution? Probably not, but it’s the best I could come up with.

In an attempt to be an upstanding/involved parent, I went ahead and joined the PTO. Unfortunately, once a slacker always a slacker: I’ve already missed the first meeting because I was exhausted (sigh) and totally blew off the school fundraiser involving overpriced wrapping paper and gifts. I just can’t bring myself to solicit friends and family with this stuff. I mean at least Girl Scout Cookies are something I can get behind (when and if that day should come…). I considered just ordering a few things myself, but I’d rather just write them a check than buy a bunch of crap I don’t need.

Anyway, this week’s highlight: Hank has discovered dodge ball. So unbelievably cute that he asked Christian and me if we knew how to play, as if it had just been invented. But I swear this game was made for my boy. I mean running around and throwing stuff at people--what’s not to love?

Summer So Far

We are keeping things pretty simple this summer. But somehow things have been busy enough to keep me from posting. So I’ll just give y’all a little recap so I can get in one post before July gets away from me.

I’d have to say the highlights have been easing into a regular exercise routine for the first time in years and weekly happy hour playdates with a group of righteous babes. I signed up for the fitness room at the community center in a nearby town—the best deal in the area at $20 a month. They have nice equipment and reasonable, high quality childcare for the kids while I’m in there sweating. I’m still doing fine weight-wise but have been feeling pretty weak and flabby and getting worn out from everyday activities. I decided some cardio would give me more energy and make me less irritable. So far I’m not really sure it’s working, but it may be helping a little. It certainly feels good while I’m doing it though. And I’m starting to realize that I feel better when I have somewhere to go in the morning. Have also developed what I can only describe as a crush on a 70-something writer who occasionally comes in to work out (in linen trousers!).

My friend Carla (who moved from Philly to a charming historic village a few miles from the funny farm) and I got the happy hour thing going in the spring as an attempt to recapture some of the fabulousness of our former urban lives. One afternoon it occurred to us that there was absolutely no reason we shouldn’t have a glass of wine while our kids were playing. So we did. Then we invited another friend and neighbor to join us, and it’s taken off from there. The kids hang out while we drink (in moderation of course cuz we’re conscientious like that) and attempt to discuss stuff beyond the usual mind numbing mommy prattle. It’s turning into quite the phenomenon with an expanding group of Gen X mamas. (Yes, the cool chicks are finally starting to come out of the exurban woodwork).

In other news, Hank just wrapped up two weeks of 8 am swim class (thank God!), and we’ve seen some aquatic breakthroughs for both kids. Coco’s involve jumping off the side of the pool to me and putting her head under the water. For Hank, it’s jumping off the diving board and dog paddling the length of the pool. He achieved another milestone earlier this month with his first summer camp romance. I had signed him up for a half-day nature camp at a local park (which unfortunately took place almost entirely inside because of the insane code orange heat wave that hit the mid Atlantic at the beginning of July and which we are still trying to shake). Now Hank has up to now been a boy’s boy: in preschool he was always the kid who made a beeline for the trucks and hung out with likeminded males. But in this case, (according to the counselors) he immediately clicked with a tall, freckle-faced cutie named Claire. They were reportedly inseparable for the entire week and enjoyed sharing snacks and picking up stuff up off the ground together…Fortunately, the mom is cool so we may be able to organize a rendez-vous when they get back from vacay in August.

We haven’t been traveling much, which I don’t mind so much since we all know that a vacation with young kids does not really qualify as a vacation. We did make it down to Virginia’s Eastern Shore for a week. (Only to discover later the swimming in the Chesapeake Bay is just about the same as diving into a dirty toilet bowl. Sigh.)

The nice place we stayed in last year wasn’t available, and we wound up in a smelly, decrepit rental house.



Actually, it was kind of like vacationing in my own house, with holes in the ceiling and everything…



The ever lovin’ was working hard at home so we shared the Amityville horror with my mother and stepfather. Let me just say that after a couple days of sharing a kitchen with them, I was starting to lose it. Meanwhile, down the street (in their own fully renovated, nicely furnished rental) were my perfectionist, earth sign sister, her tightly-wound husband and their impeccably dressed daughters. I’m not sure I could have taken much more of them either. The kids had fun with their cousins though.

I did get to relax a bit and get into my post -Tolstoy estrogen fest. Finished Eat, Pray Love (just in time for the movie…) and a Marian Keyes chick lit book somebody lent me. Also caught a couple episodes of The Real Housewives of New Jersey. Whoa. I really have a hard time believing those are real human beings. And yet, I couldn’t tear myself away. I’m always ready to sign up for satellite whenever I go away and discover what I’m missing on Bravo, but a local friend has promised to Tivo the DC Housewives so I can come over and watch it. Oh and let me share a lesson learned the hard way: don’t take library materials on vacation with little kids. I think I’m gonna wind up spending $50 to replace lost videos and a cd from the Charlie and the Chocolate Factory audio book I left in the rental car.

Of course, when we got home, the house was an absolute catastrophe. Christian had decided to clean out the kitchen cabinets, but only got as far as taking everything out of them and leaving it on every conceivable surface. He made up for this by going out the next day and getting a Vitamix.



We had been talking about this for a while, and I had some qualms about spending $400 on a blender. But we’re using the hell out of it. Lots of cucumber smoothies going on as that’s the only produce left in the garden (except for habanero peppers…).



Anyway (as usual) we wrapped up July with a birthday party for my little Leo. Hank was totally satisfied, but I have to say that birthday parties are almost always an unbelievable source of stress for me. Honestly, I don’t know why I put myself through it. The shopping and planning drive me crazy, and I get all offended and pissed off when people don’t bother to RSVP or (even worse) RSVP and don’t show up. Plus it was like 110 degrees that day. Fortunately our friends are tough… Next year, I’m determined that the four of us are going on vacation (without any members of my immediate family) on dates coinciding with the boy’s birthday lending itself to a quiet celebration. 2011: Summer of Peace?

Tome Sweet Tome

Whoa…what the hell happened to the first half of 2010? Like I always say, the days are long and the years are short…Anyway, I’ve got a little mid-year milestone to announce: I finished reading War & Peace yesterday.

What, you may ask, possessed me? Well, I had been toying with the idea since reading the fabulous Pevear/Volokhonsky translation of Anna Karenina (as recommended by Oprah) last year. Was inspired to start W&P when my peripatetic college friend announced that he had downloaded the whole thing on his iPod Touch. (I’m not into the electronic reader thing so bought a used copy of 2007 translation online). The timing seemed to be right. We were rolling into a new decade, and this would give me something else to add to my (rather pathetic) list of accomplishments before turning 40. I even recruited a few friends and friends of friends to join an online discussion group. This, unfortunately, was a total flop (apparently 1200 pages is a little too much for people who actually have lives...) but I decided to hang in there and go it alone.

I started on New Year’s Day and gave myself 6 months. And now, almost exactly 6 months later, I’ve turned the last page. I’ve actually been almost finished for about a month. But the last 36 pages of the epilogue (Tolstoy’s closing treatise on history, freedom and necessity) have been dragging on. I was tempted to give up on page 1178 once the narrative was over. But I had to Finish. The. Book. And so I did.

The ever lovin’ had two questions: Was it worth it? Yes, absolutely. And did they all die in the end? No--a few important characters die, but they pretty much wind up living happily ever after. Anyway, I was digging the rich characters (loved nerdy Marya and was totally cheering when she snagged Nikolai in the end), the drama and the society intrigues. The battlefield narrative and Tolstoy’s reflections on history and historians were a little snoozy but (except for those last 36 pages) not torturous. I had a little Napoleon fixation in the early 90s while living in Paris (you really can’t get away from him if you’re an art lover in Paris) so it was interesting reading someone’s attempts to get inside his head.

Anyway, now that that relationship is over, it's time to move on. So what’s next on the Petits Choux summer reading list? For some reason, I find myself turning to women’s confessional memoirs. I’ve never really gone there before, but for some reason I get the feeling they’re what I need/want to follow this epic. (Is Elizabeth Gilbert somehow the anti-Tolstoy?) Someone lent me Eat Pray Love (which I started while slogging through that final chapter) and I’m finding it enjoyable if a little annoying (or maybe, as a Swede I used to hang around with once said, I’m yust yealous…). Have also been feeling compelled to read Mary Karr’s entire life in three volumes. I’ll take some chick lit to the beach next month. And then maybe some Barbara Kingsolver. Still haven’t gotten to Animal Vegetable Miracle, of which I have somehow wound up with two copies, and saw her latest novel on the new books shelf at the library. I’ve been invited to join a few local book clubs and have been considering picking one to join. I’m sure I would enjoy the social aspect, but my own reading list is getting long. Plus I’m not wild about the idea of having to host at my house. So I’ll probably just do my own thing. Maybe some Dostoevsky to start out 2011?